This last month has been full of new experiences and new places, changing relationships, and a couple bitter-sweet goodbyes. A couple of weekends ago Joshua and I went home to say goodbye to my car, my parent's house, my best friend, and my family as it has always been. I found myself repeating the phrase:
When the world around you seems to be crumbling just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and open your eyes to a new day.
I am not sure if the phrase came from somewhere or if I made it up, but when I felt like I was about to lose it, it seemed to do the trick. Not all the change has been bad; I got married, started seminary, moved to the cities. However, I found that even the good change has its trials.
Amongst the trials is my constant see-saw ride with my vocation. Sometime I walk back from class hating the idea of being in seminary and terrified of the responsibility I will have if I become a pastor, thinking maybe I interpreted my calling wrong. Other times I know I am in the right place. This morning, for example, as I visited a congregation near the capital building and was moved nearly to tears as they read the scriptures in THREE languages!!! One community worshipping one God together, differences abounding. I have no idea what the sermon was about, but it was clear that something true was happening amongst those people.
All the change has reminded me why I am here, though. I remember another time in my life that everything seemed to be crumbling and, quite literally, it was only by the grace of God that I stood. My faith remained constant, a solid standing ground, as I was lifted up by the love of God's people. I am here because since that time I have felt an urging to lift others up and to stand with them on solid ground so that when everything is changing we can close our eyes and know that we will open them to a new day.
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